Dealing With Sibling Jealousy: It’s Up To The Parents
Sibling jealousy is very common and normal. After all, a baby who takes all the attention of his parents and other adults can really surprise a child.
While parents wonder if they want to love their second child as much as the first, children worry that their parents will stop loving them. Young and old children, and teenagers, may feel anxious and worried.
The fact is that sibling jealousy naturally does not mean that parents should not do something about it. Nor should they ignore the baby that has just arrived. Thus , parents need to balance attention and share love so that all children are well and happy.
The job of controlling sibling jealousy starts with the first child.
If you have raised your first child with all the love, time, contact and respect they need, they will be more prepared to share their parents with a new family member.
Once you have conveyed the news that your mother is pregnant, the baby must become part of the process. Sibling love does not come by itself, nor is it inherited or related. It is up to the parents to sow the seed so that it germinates in daily life.
Sibling love should be cultivated from pregnancy onwards . Maybe it’s good for the child to join medical follow-ups so they can see an ultrasound of their new brother or sister.
They can also participate in a birth preparation exercise or when choosing a name. It is the parents’ responsibility to create a bond between siblings.
When you experience sibling jealousy
Children should know that babies are coming to stay. Although they pay full attention to their parents for the first few months, they will gradually become siblings’ playmates as they grow up.
Although there is a big age difference between the siblings, they can still share many things and ties. Sibling jealousy occurs because children begin to ask themselves what their place in the family, and in the parents’ hearts, is. Therefore, the older sibling feels jealous of the younger sibling and vice versa.
It is up to the parents to make the children feel safe and confident. They should all be loved and their needs and peculiarities should be taken care of. In this way, sibling jealousy will be less likely to occur.
Strategies for coping with sibling jealousy
Sibling jealousy manifests itself in many ways: tantrums or bad behavior, reversal to earlier stages, quarrels and fights. However, parents can minimize the likelihood of sibling jealousy.
Here are some strategies that have proven to be helpful:
- All children need to be cared for and loved for their personality and individual peculiarities.
- Parents should create places where siblings can interact and bond.
- Boundaries and rules must be present between siblings. No matter how angry they are, siblings can not stop talking to each other or go to bed and wake up without greeting each other. Nor can they insult each other, be disrespectful or resort to physical violence to resolve their differences.
- Parents should personally meet the needs of each of their children.
- You need to explain to your children that you love them all equally. But to say that is not enough. You have to demonstrate it every day.
- Parents should avoid discrimination against one child or another.
- Parents should not compare their children.
- If the children quarrel, the parents should ensure that they do not resort to violence. They need to give them the tools they need to resolve their differences.
- When sibling jealousy turns into rivalry or even physical confrontation, you can seek help from a therapist or psychologist. You should also seek help if one of your children becomes regressive, depressed or aggressive.
Final reflections
Respecting the individuality of each of your children is fundamental to preventing sibling jealousy. Parents are also the ones who create love and respect between their children.
A child who has received love, respect, time and dedication from his parents will be a happy child. They learn to relate to their parents and will probably learn to do the same with their siblings.
In turn, parents must dedicate the same quality time, love and respect to all their children. It does not guarantee that siblings will not quarrel or fight. But they will be able to settle their differences as they know they have a special place in their parents’ hearts.
